He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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