My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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