And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You were trust falling into bushes
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
