Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I FOUND THE LEGS
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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