Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
