You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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