My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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