look no pants
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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