And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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