is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
