Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
