this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
