K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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