They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
