i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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