ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
