normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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