is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
