The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
