Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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