I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
