Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Sober January is a disaster.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
