Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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