Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize