nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize