Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
