Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
