I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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