I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Randomize
