You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
