youre lurking in front of me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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