Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
