Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Randomize
