I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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