At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
