Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Too much gin, very little bucket
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize