My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
