I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
