Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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