Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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