mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
operation harelip BJ is a go
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
