is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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