At least make sure they are 18
Why
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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