He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Randomize