Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
