HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
