I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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