My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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