I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
