Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i think my cat just said my name.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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