Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
