Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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