wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
