OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
