I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
