3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
