dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
