just tell him i said nine months
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
