If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
