She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My dick has a subreddit
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
