like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize