he shaved USA in his pubs
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
