it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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