operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
