Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm jealous of your bromance
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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