watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
There r osticjed everywhere
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
