have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
