do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
