Dual....:-)
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
