So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
