How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
