I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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