i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
