A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
